Saturday, February 17, 2007

How to Improve Communication Skills & Become More Assertive By Giving Up Just 1 Habit

The secret to getting better at communication skills and becomeing more assertive is to let go of the need for people's approval. When you no longer need their approval, your nervousness will fade away and you begin to feel free to express your desires and opinions.

As you start to express yourself more freely, you come across as a charismatic person. Letting go of the habit of seeking people's approval will also make you more assertive, you will be able to say no when you want to.

When you constantly seek approval and acceptance, you place yourself in a position of weakness while interacting with people. It destroys your peace of mind, drains your energy,makes you tongue-tied and afraid to speak out your mind in front of others.

However this doesn't mean that you should give a damn about other people. Ofcourse you have to be considerate about people and behave in a responsible manner. But at the same time, you should stop trying to please all people at all times, and start saying things which you really think and feel rather than what others want to hear.

Does this all make sense to you? If it does, lets move on to the important question:how do I give up this habit?

The below given exercises should help you to a certain degree, if you practise them seriously.

Exercise 1:
The first step to overcome this habit is to become aware while you are doing it. This exercise is to help you become more aware.

For the next several days, whenever you catch yourself saying or doing something to please others, stop right in your tracks - freeze. Then instead of that do or say something which you really want to.

Monitor yourself in this fashion for 2-3 weeks and change your behaviour whenever you find yourself seeking other's approval. Initially it may seem difficult, but with practise you can soon begin to develop the habit of acting according to your own will.

Exercise 2:
This is a fun exercise which can also serve as a feedback tool for how well you are progressing.

For the next few weeks, whenever you have interacted with someone, give yourself + or -- points depending on your interaction. If you were able to speak or act according to your will, give yourself positive points ranging from +1 to +10. However if you could not muster up the courage and acted out of fear of people, give yourself negative points from -1 to -10. Keep a sheet of paper with you with date written on top of it and keep adding your + and - points to that sheet. At the end of the day calculate your total score. This will give you an idea about how you fared during the day and will also motivate you to improve yourself further tomorrow.

If you follow the above 2 exercises for a few weeks, you may notice considerable improvement in your behaviour. You may start interacting with people with new found freedom, courage, confidence and assertiveness. Your bold attitude may win you admirers and drive away your social phobias. If you feel discomfort in social settings, suffer from social phobia and want to overcome it, check out this resource: Beat Social Anxieties & Do Not Be Prisoner of Your Own Thoughts

Related Articles:
1.Tips for dealing with difficult people, 2.Tips for dealing with negative people, 3.Manage stress at workplace, 4.Overcome fears through education, 5.Overcome negative self-image,6.Tips to become a good listener

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1 comment:

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